


To Rebuild

by samidha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, First and only time I've Written This Pairing, Hex Bags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-24
Updated: 2011-04-24
Packaged: 2018-12-04 16:52:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11559420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/samidha
Summary: Sam, hex bags, and the memories they jar loose.





	To Rebuild

Sam hands the freshly-made hex bag to Dean.

”I uh--” The memory skitters across his consciousness, Ruby sorting spoonfuls of herbs and nails and hair into the little black bags like she’s been doing it since time out of mind.

”I learned it from--”

_Her hands didn’t burn as she ran her palms along his skin, but her kisses tasted of sulfur and heat coiled in his stomach under her touch. He took all his rage, all the endless futility of fighting this war without Dean here, all the endless misery of it and held it together deep inside of him as he pulled and pushed her, as he marked her skin with his teeth. It wasn’t enough, it could never be enough, never make up for anything that happened, but it was what he had._

_She moaned his name and his gut lurched, his mind filled with nothing but how alone he really was, how sickened he was by every damn thing that had become his life._

_He wished she would know, that she would understand, but all she ever seemed to do was love him this way, like all his misery was hers for the taking, like she could get drunk on it._

”Ruby. I learned it from Ruby,” he finally, finally says, and he tries to hate her half as much as he has ever hated himself. But the well inside of him is deep and dark, hollowed out and endless and there is never enough of anything to show how he feels.

Dean looks away from him and his heart and his gut ache in tandem, but he knows he doesn’t want to see what’s on Dean’s face any more than Dean wants to show him.


End file.
